I have a job waiting for me in the fall teaching preschool part-time, and I am happy about this. Here is the rub, I am perfectly happy at the prospect of teaching preschool, but for some reason many people whom I look up seem to think it beneath me and can’t understand why I don’t want to work 40 hrs in the “real world” anymore. Brian and I decided that when he graduates, which he did in May, I would be able to scale back from working 40 hrs a week and be able to spend some time at home being a good little wifey and eventually stay home full-time and raise our future children. (Finances permitting, of course)
As I’ve had this discussion with different people, I have become aware of just how pervasive feminism has become even in the minds of Christians. When I tell people that my desire is to spend some time at home simply taking care of my husband and running the household, I get the strangest looks. Apparently it’s ok for women to stay home if they have children (and only until they go to school), but it’s unacceptable for a wife with no children to want to spend part of her week at home making it a great place for her husband to be. This is my dream and my desire, to teach preschool and be able to run the household and take care of my husband. Feminism doesn’t think that this kind of behavior contributes to society enough, and sadly this type of thinking has leaked into the minds of Christians.
I’m sure I’m not the only woman who feels the pressure of having a certain type of job or status in order to feel like you are contributing to society. Can someone please tell me how teaching 2 year olds is NOT contributing to society? Why shouldn’t the most well-educated, talented people be teaching 2 year olds? Do you want your toddlers to be taught by people with no education or experience? If I never enter an elementary or high school classroom again, I will still maintain that my education and experience is not wasted. How could teaching 2 year olds and building relationships with their parents be a waste of my time and talent? How could taking care of my husband and (someday) children be a waste of my time and talents?
Spending more time at home this summer has done wonders for my relationship with Brian. I can also name 3 or 4 husbands whose wives have also had some time off this summer who will tell you the same thing. Their wives are not so stressed out and are completely happy staying at home and taking care of them. Why are we so happy?? BECAUSE WE WERE MADE TO DO THIS! We were made to nest and cook and clean and take care of our families, even if our family consists of only ourselves and our husbands. We also love to work outside the home and volunteer and be active in church and be busy, but what we really love is doing what God built us for. “Aren’t you taking us back like, 400 years??” You ask. No, I’m taking us back to Proverbs 31 and daring you to actually read the whole chapter, not just the last 2 verses. The Proverbs 31 woman is a beast. She is active in the community, she makes and sells things, she runs the household with precision….she is the Ultimate Woman that all the other wives want to be like. Nowhere does it say that her worth comes from her education or her status. Her worth comes from how she serves her family, and her drive to serve her family comes from her “fear of the Lord. Her relationship with her husband is awesome, because his “heart safely trusts her.” I think any woman would honestly say that working a demanding job takes a certain toll on her relationship with her husband. I personally despise paying that price in order to make a certain amount of money.
Here is what I am NOT saying. I am not saying that if you work outside the home then you are outside of God’s will. I’m not saying that every woman should be blissfully happy being at home and running the household. I am certainly very realistic about the day-to-day demands of running a home. I’m not saying that you are a bad mother if you do not stay at home with your children. I am saying that I desire a different life for my family then the one that is being constantly pushed on me by the ideals of feminism.
I’d really love to know what you think. Obviously, making money and contributing to the family finances is a way to serve my family. My own personal struggle may be different than yours. Working a full-time job has taken a tremendous toll on my health and my relationship with Brian. Is it worth the financial stability to have 3 migraines a week and be too exhausted or ill to take care of my family? Will God honor my desire to serve my family and provide the financial stability we desperately need right now?
P.S. I’m a little bit ill and delirious right now, hopefully I got my point across. I promise Part 2 will be written with a clear mind and calm stomach.
P.S.S If you are allergic to milk, you should probably ask the hostess if her deliciously yummy iced coffee punch has copious amounts of milk in it before you drink 3 cups of it.