I didn’t really think that there would be such controversy about my post. The root of all this discussion is that I’m really just struggling with finding my place and purpose in my family and in my community. I’d like to reply to what a few readers said and maybe clarify a few points that were hidden by my foggy mental state:
One reader commented about how feminism opened doors for women to have an equal opportunity for education and careers. Don’t get the impression that I am not thankful for those women and men who fought hard against the idea that women are not smart enough or worth enough to be on the same level as men. The idea that women are inferior is one of the travesties of history (and the present) and is certainly not in line with the heart of God. I am extremely grateful for my education and for all the opportunities that are open to me as a result of some very passionate women.
When I say feminism, I am referring to the idea that being a homemaker, stay-at-home mom, or whatever you want to call it, is a lesser option as opposed to having a career. In my opinion, what started as a movement to make women equal citizens eventually branched off into this idea that somehow a woman is worth as much as her chosen career. I don’t know your story, maybe your mother was a slave to her family and lived in misery all her married life. Maybe you are a stay-at-home mom and you feel trapped by your responsibilities. If your experience has been a painful one, then I am so sorry for you. I know what it is like to struggle to find joy in your circumstances. In my experience, my mother was at home with us almost my entire life. She and my father were committed to her being able to be with us at home and run the household. My mother never went to college or embarked on a career, but she is the most well-read, self-educated woman that I know. My mother didn’t buy into the lie that her worth comes from how much money she makes or her status at work, and though I’m very sure that there were times that she wanted to quit, she understood the value of her service to her family and found (and still finds) joy in it. Men and women are human, and our relationships are understandably flawed. No family is perfect, and perfection is not what I’m seeking. What I am seeking is the best that God has for my family, and I fiercely believe that He meant for us all to have something better than what feminism says is the best.
What am I trying to say? I’ve been thinking about this and been more than a little frustrated. The problem is that you can’t climb inside my head and see all the things that are spinning around this issue. The more I say, the more one can also say “But what about this?.” I havn’t even scratched the surface when it comes to most of what some readers protested in my last post. I want to put this to rest, but I hate more than anything else to be misunderstood or misrepresented. I have strong beliefs and strong opinions, and I won’t apologize for them. My biggest frustration which I wrote about in my last post is that I have run into so much opposition and discouragement among my circle of Christian friends. Sure, I have the right to choose to stay at home or work 1,000 hours a week, but the reality is that feminism has introduced the idea that taking care of my husband and future children is a waste of my talent. I loudly protest this idea and submit to you that based on Proverbs 31, God has a much much much much much better idea about who I am supposed to be.
So this is where I stop. I believe that God has something much better than feminism has to offer me. I believe that the pursuit of anything outside of His purpose for me is the wrong path, and I will continue to struggle and ask questions, even if it makes me a bit unpopular. I want something more than the daily pursuit of money and status that the ideals of feminism offer me. I refuse to sacrifice my future children and my husband for the vain search for my worth outside of who God says I am.
To the Readers Who Hate My Guts:
If you believe something completely opposite of what I am defending, then I would love to exercise my brain and have some wonderful honest discussions with you. I hope you know that just because I have strong beliefs and opinions, it doesn’t mean that I hate your guts. If I have said that the way you believe or think is wrong, it still doesn’t mean that I hate your guts. With all my die-hard passion, arrogance, and other socially crippling faults, Christ loves me and demands that I love everyone regardless of whether we agree on the tenents of feminism. So, let’s be friends.