I’m a WPTF AM680 talk radio junkie. I have forsaken popular music and peppy DJ’s for traffic on the 8’s and news headlines every fifteen minutes. I am officially old and very uncool, but I don’t care. I love it. I love the debating (yes, everyone go ahead and say or think something sarcastic), I love the local morning host who calls the governor’s office on the air and harasses his secretary, I even love the embarrassing listeners who call in and make you want to drive off the road and hit a tree rather than keep listening to their ranting and raving about “them Yankees who are trying to take over Raleigh.” These are delectable delights indeed, but what I most love about talk radio is hearing the glorious name of T. Boone Pickens. Every day I wait in sweet anticipation to hear the voice of that cantankerous oil tycoon lay out his plan to end the oil crisis in what sounds like a campaign ad.
Now you are getting a little uncomfortable. “Why the sudden obsession with T. Boone Pickens” You ask. You wonder if I’m really actually going to take this blog into the realm of politics, as if I haven’t done enough damage already. Why do I love this man? It is simply, my dear readers, because his name makes me laugh out loud.
Say it, say “T. Boone Pickens” out loud. Say it louder. Louder. LOUDER! Now I dare you not to giggle (or chuckle). It’s impossible not to laugh when saying his name, and if you have heard his radio ads, you can hear in your head the way HE says it and laugh even harder. He has this awesome southern accent that reminds me of my grandfather. Life has few joys right now, but this is definitely one of them. I’m not making fun, no not at all, but I am delighted by the way his name just trips off the tongue and makes me giggle like a 4 year old whose main job is to giggle like a 4 year old and eat Goldfish crakers and watch The Little Mermaid.
The possibilities are endless. Imagine that Brian and I are arguing and we throw a few dishes at each other like we always do….until one of us yells “T. BOONE PICKENS!!!!” at the top of our lungs. How could we continue to fight after that? T. Boone Pickens is going to revolutionize our marriage. (Brian doesn’t know it yet, because he is in the living room playing PS2. We have separate living rooms actually, kind of like Ricky and Lucy except that we do actually share a bed.)
Where was I?
What if things get a little tense at your next meeting with the boss? Bring out the T. Boone Pickens and watch your career literally skyrocket beyond your wildest dreams. Use it as a Christian swear word and fake swear at your children. Feel the tension slide way as you yell ” GET YOUR T.BOONEPICKENS BEHIND IN HERE AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM!!” You will all get a little giggle in and a clean room as a bonus. Sidenote: Simply take out the spaces in order to make your new fake swear word flow.
If T. Boone Pickens ever googles himself and finds this post, I hope he knows that I’m only participating in a bit of silliness. I would love to ask him if saying his own name makes him laugh out loud and gives him as much joy as it gives me. Thank you T. Boone Pickens, for the laughter and the sunshine you have brought into my life.