Obligatory Tea Party Post

Tea Parties happened yesterday, here’s my take on some issues surrounding it:

1. Mael Dissaeu wins the award for the best (but most understated) Tea Party sign: “I come from a socialist country, trust me you don’t want that”. (Picture forthcoming)

2. Some Liberals have been trying to redefine this grass roots movement as “Astroturf”, yes they want to call it fake grass. They claim it’s because it was organized by Republican Leaders. Um..Really? Last I checked I wasn’t getting daily emails with KOS-es telling me what to do. Apparently it’s only a true grass roots movement if it supports Obama. So…. what do you call a grass roots movement that is supported and hyped by the mainstream media, a clever marketing campaign, and the entirety of the democratic party? I call that the political equivalent of a professional lawn care service. Guaranteed to keep your lawn looking green no matter how lifeless the soil is.

3. Look out, if you’re a conservative and you support the tea parties, you may be flagged by the department of Homeland Security. Here’s an excerpt: There is “no specific information” on planned violence by domestic right-wing terrorists; but real-estate foreclosures, unemployment and tight credit could all lead to a “fertile recruiting environment.” There’s even the possibility of confrontations between these groups and government authorities.

Yep, we’re so dangerous with our signs and our crazy ideas. While the report is weak, and frankly meaningless, the really scary part is the precedent it sets.

4. As if we needed proof that the mainstream media is biased … and crass. Here is a short excerpt from MSNBC along with a screenshot of the news. I’ll let that speak for itself for a moment before I tackle it.


“For most Americans, Wednesday, April 15th will be Tax Day,” Shuster said as he began a soliloquy with about a dozen separate oral sex puns. “But in our fourth story tonight: It’s going to be teabagging day for the right-wing and they’re going nuts for it. Thousands of them whipped out the festivities early this past weekend, and while the parties are officially toothless, the teabaggers are full-throated about their goals.”

All I can say without being crass is: Who on earth uses two teabags to brew a single cup? No one. It clearly overbrews the tea before you can enjoy it. Second of all, that other tea bag was clearly photoshopped into the picture. I mean, look at them, they are clearly identical tea bags. If you’re going to make fun of me, at least put some effort into it.

So yes, redefine our movement because it’s not “cool” like the Obama campaign, call me a terrorist, make crass sexual puns regarding my ideologies, but don’t you dare overbrew my tea you left-winged nut-jobs.



Filed under Ramblings by Brian

7 responses to “Obligatory Tea Party Post

  1. I think I’m probably already on the Homeland Security watchlist, because I get e-mails from the Campaign for Liberty.

    I cannot believe the proliferation of double entendres in that report.

  2. ravnistic

    Yeah, it’s incredible, and what I posted is only the tip of the iceberg.

  3. best post yet.
    Seriously, professional grade.
    Personally, I’m going to read some right wing message boards with a “F-U DEHS” avatar just to make sure I’m on a watchlist.

  4. I mean, “F-U DHS”…kindof weakened my rhetorical line in the sand when I fumbled that one…

  5. ravnistic

    “Weakened my rhetorical line in the sand when I fumbled that one”

    I think that only strengthened your use of mixed metaphors.


  6. I sort of suspect anyone that doesn’t support this brand of socialism being shoved down our throats will eventually be tagged with some label if they’re not already.

  7. I like my metaphors like my martinis.

    btw, sweet tea is amazing if you super-chill it in a shaker and pour it “straight up”.

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